I was enjoying an impromptu luncheon with colleagues at the small, southeastern university where I work the other day when one of the scattering of conversations turned to the subject of how we speak to one another, and how we respond when our feelings get hurt by the words of others. One professor remarked that she knew she had a very sharp tongue, (a fact all too well known to many of us in the room) but was making real efforts to control what she said.

Now, this particular professor is one who loudly and proudly proclaims her faith (Christian), her beliefs and bigotry, and her special standing in the eyes of her one God--the one with whom she has favor. In my experience of her, she seemed to use this "favor" as an excuse to be randomly and thoughtlessly rude to and inconsiderate of other people. Her single motivation, whether with people, projects or situations, seemed to be "what's in it for me; will I have to *do* anything? and will it make me look good?" I have always found this to be...odd. And frankly, before my own acceptance of Christ, she was one of my primary examples of why most Christians are just totally useless. So, hearing her express any sort of awareness/sensitivity of how she treated or was perceived by others was intriguing!

She shared a recent personal circumstance where she was the recipient of harsh personal criticism from a close, long time friend (you know, one of those loved ones who really know exactly how to push our buttons), but contrary to her usual and natural instincts, she *chose* not to respond to the criticism emotionally and kept her peace. I thought I sensed a serious issue of both competition and inferiority when it came to her and this friend. Some of us thought this would have been an instance when use of her verbal skills in defense of herself was in fact warranted, but, interestingly, she thought not.

She remarked that she and this friend are both professing Christians, but seemed to be in quite different worlds when it comes to the expression of that belief. She then told of the subsequent Sunday church meeting (with this same friend) wherein the basic message was "no pain, no gain", based on some scripture she quoted, (that admittedly, I did not catch--maybe Romans 5:3, maybe not) which she applied to her situation and seemed to validate the appropriateness of her choice. And she praised God and exalted his name because of this. She noted and commented to us that, while she was fully engaged in the praise and worship, her friend seemed totally unaffected--in stark contrast to their shared ebullient expressions in a very non-sacred setting the day before.

I was listening intently, because it seemed she was sharing a new and evolving part of herself to us. Everyone of us gathered became interested when I asked her: "do you really believe that? And do you believe it applies across the board?", referring to the precept of no pain = no progress. I wanted to know if she applied this to other areas of her life, and thought this might explain some of her interesting character traits and teaching style. I wanted to know how her knowledge and experience of God really worked with this concept, because I definitely don't believe this applies wholesale to our life experiences and, being relatively new at this Christian thing, I really wanted clarification.

to be continued in part II...